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[September 04, 2008 | 07:19 PM] PA, I know that we can never be, yet I want that thing the most. We live half way across the country from each other, and your text messages are coming fewer and fewer each day. It kills me to see how desperate I am in trying to find new ways to text you to keep the line of communication open between us. My friends wonder why I'm still talking to you after the things that you've done to me, and I wonder that myself, yet I still keep on coming back. It's ridiculous how tightly I am wrapped around your finger. I want this to stop, because I know that it will never work and I'll just end up empty and lonely and feel useless, but I can't help it. If only you were willing to take that long distance commitment with me, which I doubt will ever happen, no matter how much I wish. But at the same time, while I wish you were even more a part of my life, I wish you were out so I could move on and find someone else. But the thing that I wish for most? Is that we could start over again, and that maybe, hopefully, things would have ended up differently. Love, TX

[July 20, 2008 | 10:50 PM] [ music | Don't Stop Believin' - Journey ] I've never missed a person nor group of people as much as I miss these people. It started when I went to D.C. for a program where you learned about the government and how it worked for 10 days, and I never expected to meet the people that I did. Everyone that I met there had a different story, and a different life in a different part of the country. Even though we were all ecclectic, we mixed perfectly, and all understood each other like we had been friends for years even though we'd only met a day or two ago. The whole time up there, it was all memories and laughter, and I hardly though of my friends back home unless they texted me. I do not think that I've been tighter with another group of people like I was with my friends up there. And on the last day of the conference, I cried. Hard, long sobs on the car ride to the airport and the first leg of my flight home, listening to "Don't Stop Believin'" on repeat, which only made me cry harder as it was a song close to my friends and I up there. And every text message I sent to any of my friends there only echoed the total sadness that we all felt. I've never sent that many text messages in my life; over 500 to 600 in a day. I emptied my inbox and outbox out about three times that day. Even now, barely a week after we've parted ways, we're still in constant touch with one another. We plan reunions, have late night phone calls due to time change, and text until our inboxes are at the filling point. Yet even with this, it scares me to know that I will not ever see all of these same people in one place like we were in D.C. ever again. And I'm scared, because I want to see these people again, and to hug them and talk to them about their argyle dress socks, or how life is back in Puerto Rico, but I know that I won't be able to. And if so, it won't be for a long time. And I'm not sure if I can last without seeing anyone from the program. Back at the conference, I felt freaking infinite. That the days were weeks, and the week was months and years. But it wasn't, and now I'm just left with cross country friendships and reunions based on hopes and dreams; half of which aren't plausible. And I'm left thinking, will I ever see these people again? And it's scary because in only ten short days, these people have become some of my best friends and I'm scared to lose them because of distance. I want to feel infinite again.  X-posted to _feel_infinite_

Addicted [June 30, 2008 | 09:13 PM] Title: Addicted Chapter: 3-4 Rating: PG-R Summary: After their relationship falls apart, they're left to pick up the pieces, only to fall deeper into the sins of life. Warnings: angst  ( Two cars hastily pulled... )

Addicted [March 05, 2007 | 08:51 PM] [ mood | relaxed ] Because I have x-posted my story Addicted on tons of sites, I thought that it would be helpful for, and maybe you, if I posted all of the chapters in one post that I edited whenever there was another one. So here you go. Title: Addicted Chapter: Prologue-2 Rating: PG-R Summary: After their relationship falls apart, they're left to pick up the pieces, only to fall deeper into the sins of life. Warnings: angst ( Let the car crash begin... )

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